dear diary
I have been pretty bad lately at using this site for what it is intended - a diary.
I have decided since I have had so much shit going on in my life lately that I will again start using my diary.
One of the main reasons for this is that I often feel I have no-one to talk to about emotional stuff. What I mean is I have lot’s of people I can talk to but very few who will not judge me or won’t judge my boyfriend if I have complains about the way things are going. The great thing about a diary is that it helps to get it out and it can’t talk back!
I am still struggling with sharing space full time with someone but we are both making more of an effort which has eased things back.
I am working through a lot with my healer than most people wouldn’t understand much makes it difficult to talk to friends about. Because of this I am also quieter these days, am feeling a lot more like being at home and drinking less which is difficult for most people to accept around me. I know part of this is because I am usually larger than life when I go out. But part of the healing is not needing to justify myself to others and it feels good. It feels good not drinking so much too but I am sick of the crappy comments from everyone about it. I am also sick of everything social revolving around drinking!!
It also feels like it is effecting my relationships with friends and my boyfriend as I am changing a bit but for the better. I hope i don’t end up leaving some of them behind….
Work is getting pretty hard with the recession/depression times are going to be tough but I am ready. I am a survivor ready for battle on all sides. It feels like that is what I am faced with at the moment…
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